Fashionably Armed Play – Excerpt

Set in a department store as old friends Annie, Vivian and Caprice shop; their politics and fashion sense emerge to reveal how easily conceal and carry can become acceptable when paired with fashionability.
A short 1 act 10 minute play

(Rack ware department store. ANNIE browsing then sees her two friends approaching.)

ANNIE
Well it took you both long enough.

(Enter VIVIAN and CAPRICE.)

VIVIAN
What time is it?

ANNIE
You are 15 minutes late, Vivian.

VIVIAN
Horrors, Annie.

CAPRICE
Well, I’m so glad we could all get together. We are so busy nowadays, not like ages ago when we were in college. So much time to do absolutely nothing.

VIVIAN
True Caprice and so much time to think about absolutely nothing too. Everything seemed simple.

ANNIE
Have you heard the news?

VIVIAN
No. At the moment I’m deeply engrossed in whether or not I could pull off an orange cocktail dress.

CAPRICE
Oh Vivian, you can wear anything, but I believe monks wear the color orange and you aren’t very religious.

VIVIAN
Priestly robes could be stylish.

ANNIE
Seven people shot. Sitting in a hotel having breakfast. Shot dead.

CAPRICE
Oh, Annie, that is so horrible. I can’t believe these shootings. And you know Vivian, come to think of it, prison inmates also wear orange. It makes it easier to shoot them if they try to escape.

VIVIAN
Perhaps orange is a bit bright.
(She puts dress back on rack.)

ANNIE
Worried about becoming target practice?

CAPRICE
People have issues and they feel violence is their only recourse.

VIVIAN
Really, the orange juice at the hotel wasn’t fresh enough? Time to start shooting.

CAPRICE
Well, I think it’s about being repressed or feeling repressed. Something like that.

ANNIE
What about last weeks shooting? That was at a playground.

VIVIAN
Children simply have no respect nowadays. How dare they insist on playing outside.

ANNIE
At any time, we could be bombed or shot or something. And then what? We need to start carrying.

VIVIAN
(She points.)
How about that one? Do you think I could get away with that at a cocktail party?

CAPRICE
Stripes can be really difficult. Has to have a slimming effect.

VIVIAN
True.

ANNIE
It’s time to start carrying. A gun in your purse is more important than lip stick.

VIVIAN
Not, if you think lipstick is important. Although, details, like makeup, often escape you.